Listen, Mom, I hear what you're saying,
but it'll give me a chance to spend some time with nature
and get out of those smog-infested malls
that you're always ranting about.
Yes, correctly so. Of course, Mother, the air here isn't really air.
But what could be healthier
than spending Friday night riding horses through Topanga Canyon?
And riding is such super exercise.
Yeah, I know I've never really been riding before,
but you're always saying how girls should be more adventurous.
So, Mom...
Whoa, whoa. Bren, Bren.
You're trotting down the wrong path here.
You gotta hit Mom where her soft-spot is.
You know, milk that Mother Nature stuff.
"Mom. Mommy.
"Remember when we used to hike in the woods around Gull Lake
"when we were kids?
"I miss those times so much,
"and now I can recapture them. "
Perfect.
Just make it seem natural, all right? Not like we rehearsed it or anything.
I won't.
Talk about that, talk about anything,
but whatever you do, do not talk about money.
Sorry, honey, but $120 is too much to spend on a twilight horseback ride.
Water.
You know, I'm not anybody here. I have no clothes.
Seems to me what you're wearing passes the clothing definition test.
Honey, you know, just because we live here
doesn't mean we take our cues from these people.
I mean, we're not their clones.
Relax, Mother. I don't think you have any worries in that area.
You're a unique fashion statement here.
Yeah, Mrs Green Jeans moves to Beverly Hills.
Come on, Bren, we gotta jet.
Typical. He oversleeps and then he rushes me.
You know, honey, if people only like you for your appearance,
they don't really like you.
Don't dig too deep here, Mom.
I'm sorry. I don't speak Spanish.
I'm sorry, but someone must have given you the wrong address. Okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
Your hat is so dope. Where?
Where do you think? Here.
Well, it looks better on me.
- Last night I saw you in a Beemer. - Yeah, well, my father bought it for me.
- Is it a convertible? - Of course it is.
Can you conceive a top on me?
I didn't know she and Kelly were such good friends.
Ex-such good friends. From grade school.
I don't know what to do, Jim. She's already cleaning.
Wait a minute. You mean there's a stranger in our home?
Take me off the damn speakerphone.
Oh, hey, I know who she is.
Alan's wife mentioned her cleaning lady having a cousin who needed work.
Thank you for including me in on the decision.
It completely slipped my mind.
Well, it's interesting what one chooses to forget.
Honey, I thought you'd like it.
Everyone in Beverly Hills has a maid.
- Now you sound like Brenda. - So? Come on.
We had someone clean the house back in Minneapolis.
Well, but that was only for a few hours a week,
and that was when I worked at Mom's store.
I mean, that was when I had a life and friends and a world and...
And a phone that didn't cut everybody off.
Jim! Jim!
Hi.
Les Miserables.
Sounds kind of miserable, doesn't it?
You've all seen or you've heard about the play.
Now I want you to read the book.
It's got sex.
It's got crime.
One minuscule crime ruined Jean Valjean's life.
What sentence would you give someone
for stealing bread to feed his widowed sister and starving family?
Brenda.
I think he should've gotten a light sentence. Definitely, for sure.
Wrong. At least according to Hugo's judges.
He got 20 years.
That's true.
He tried to escape. But wouldn't you, from hard cells,
hardened criminals, rats, roaches?
Hugo would be amused to find that you consider his work a comedy.
Tell me, what do you think of Jean Valjean's crime?
I say let them eat cake.
Our own little local Marie Antoinette raises a good point.
You see, it's very hard for us in the golden ghetto
to understand that kind of need.
Okay. Papers due on Monday.
Remember, I want you to explore how
one decision, one event,
can change one's whole life.
So whose Beemer should we take?
Hey, Tiff! That was really funny, what you said.
Who was trying to be funny?
Hey, wait up, you guys.
Male, female, root our school.
West Beverly team against Beverly High, don't fail!
And don't get lured by that sweet, sweet nitro sale.
Sale. Sale, sale.
Sale? Are you there?
Sure. Why not?
Spend hard.
You wanna come?
- Here. - I can't really buy.
My American Express, I left home without it.
No money. Just fun.
- Okay. - Okay?
Here.
I'll see you in class, okay?
You're job hunting?
How un-Beverly Hills.
Is that good or bad?
From me? Good, I guess.
I'm just doing my bit for car insurance, you know.
Any hot leads?
Oh, I got Garden Graphics,
Veggie Heaven Produce, This Town Restaurant.
- We're talking slam dunk here. - Yeah. Well, good luck, eh?
Thanks.
Well, you don't have much experience.
I understand.
You don't have to explain. It's okay, really.
Hey, babe, I know my restauranteur rights.
When can you start?
I'm sorry I took up your time.
Didn't you hear me? I said yes.
You said yes?
Yes, I said yes!
Don't make me rethink it.
No, no, don't! Don't rethink it. Don't... Don't think about anything.
Overkill, hon.
"Inverted nipple trouble. "
Pass.
"Are you always attracted to losers?
"Here's how to break the cycle. "
Here is the cycle.
Trust me, dude. They'll drool over this.
- Are you sure, Steve? - Yeah.
Oh, finally found somebody your own maturity level to hang with, Steve?
Oh, hey, Tiff. How is that waterbed?
Kelly and Tiffany got nuclear over Steve.
Details, please.
But it was intense fallout.
They just started speaking this semester in English class.
- Tiff has always been so subtle. - Yeah.
This is death. 100% silk.
Bren, you have to have it. Come on.
Kelly, do you really think one event can change your whole life?
Sure, like in Pretty Woman?
Sorry, Julia Roberts,
but I would have worn this on the plane with Richard Gere.
No, I mean like what Miss Rye was talking about.
One thing you do ruining your entire life.
- I don't know. Forget it. - Maybe it wasn't ruined.
Maybe he wanted it that way.
One decision, one event,
can change one's whole life.
Let's get out of here, okay?
Yeah. Cool with moi.
I'm just gonna get these five things. Do you like them?
Yeah, I like them.
Hey, wait up. I'm not buying anything, either.
She's back. What do you mean, who? Anna.
Honey, I'm in overdrive here. I've got 10K's flying.
- Can't you deal with it? - Can't I deal with it?
Yes, I can deal with it. I told her not to come.
Oh, Jim!
Ma Bell, where are you?
Great for a grandma.
Oh, pathetic.
This Town? That is the nitro restaurant.
And I'm a nitro guy.
Oh, dude, you scored a sweet job. If you're into jobs.
What, This Town? Yeah, it's all right. I ate there opening night.
Delicious cumin.
Delicious tips, I hope.
They hired you as a waiter?
I guess. I don't know. She said she was going on instinct.
Instincts, I'll bet. Of the "get busy" kind?
Hey, come on, I'm a waiter, not a lover.
Do you remember Jake kissed like a wall?
Oh, my God, yeah.
But he was better than The Lizard. Remember?
Oh, that's gross.
- Hey. - Hey. Cool dress.
Yeah, it's a kick for sure.
How nice of you to model for us.
- Miss Rye? - Yeah.
I was just wondering who's more guilty,
someone like in Les Mis who didn't want to steal, but had to?
Or someone who wanted to, but didn't?
That's an interesting moral twister.
And we'll get to that. Now.
Coffee?
I hope it's not too strong.
Oh, no. Gracias, miss.
- Oh, call me Cindy. - Okay.
And here are our female mounties.
- What do you have to say, girls? - Nothing.
Okay.
Who's hiding behind that video camera?
David Silver.
Well, David Silver,
my name is Tiffany Morgan, and I know what you really wanna see.
Oh, my God. Hurt me.
- What a show. - Yeah, sometimes.
Some of her reruns aren't so dope, though.
Why were you guys ex-friends?
She was just too wild, kind of a troublemaker, before.
Giddyup. We're gonna lose out on the best in the west.
Sorry you can't come, Bren. Tiff, you in?
No, I gotta exchange some stuff.
Besides, four-legged creatures don't interest me.
Yeah, me neither.
- You wanna go hang at Nitro? - Yeah.
- I mean, sure, okay, if you want. - Great.
We'll stop by your place on the way.
It's loco, but I can't seem to watch somebody working without helping.
You comprende?
I'm not a lady of leisure.
That's why I'm uncomfortable having you here.
I mean, not you. Just the idea of you.
Jim likes the image of you.
You know, I have to say, image is very important to my daughter, also.
Well, at her age...
- Hey. - Oh, hi, honey.
- That's my mom. - Which one?
We're going upstairs.
Are you sure you don't want a snack?
You'll never see my mom with a cleaning utensil in her hand.
You'll never see my mom at all.
Oh!
This is cozy.
I just had my room redone.
- I'm in my black period. - Cool.
Les Miserables, what a kick.
Oh, yeah, they make the CliffsNotes so long, you might as well read the book.
I'd never steal.
Would you?
I don't think so.
So, is it all right if I just stash some stuff here?
- I don't feel like lugging it around. - Sure.
What's wrong?
You're 15 minutes early.
Yeah, well, I didn't wanna be late or get stuck in Friday traffic hell.
I can handle that.
Let's get busy.
But there are no customers yet.
Let me see your hands.
Perfect. We've gotta get them into tight places.
Listen, I'm supposed to be a waiter.
Oh, darling, you're not waiter material yet.
You're gonna work in the back with Yuri and Chang.
I think I'll start you on cumin.
See if you can get those big hands into that little jar.
Well, I gotta start somewhere.
Only Catherine the Great would pick a horse over shopping.
So, you and Kelly were best friends?
Yeah, for two years.
Then she got super-possessive and boring.
I had a best friend in Minneapolis since 5th grade.
We used to go over to each other's houses every weekend
and spend the night.
You're really from the real world.
We were just here yesterday.
Well, that's the fun.
Going back.
- Brandon, table four. - All right.
Brandon, I need you first.
My new crumber. Ain't he a piece of work?
- This job's a bitch. - No kidding, man.
She canned and pickled Julio right before you rode in.
Now I know why she hired me.
She hires, she fires, a la carte. No benefits.
So, what's our share of the tips?
Tips?
Welcome to the third-world labor force, buddy.
Why do they charge so much for these things?
Freeway robbery. Here, let me see.
And what is the point of wearing this?
Who cares about points? The point is risk.
Hey, would you do me a favor?
Would you ask the salesgirl for a larger size?
- Yeah, sure. - Thanks.
Excuse me.
Yeah, may I help you?
Yeah, my friend needs a larger size.
Hey, hold it right there!
- What? - That one.
- Give me the bag. - And she's in on it, too.
Me?
You're really in trouble now.
"The Labor Day barbecue was a bore without you.
"Are the parties like Down and Out in Beverly Hills?
"Please don't forget your old pal, Paula. "
Party hearty.
I'm beat.
People work hard out here for their zillions.
Yeah. Puritan ethic goes Beverly Hills, leaving me to fend for myself.
I know, honey. It's been an adjustment.
It's quiet now without the kids.
Kind of nice.
It's good the kids have new lives.
Oh, those girls.
They're 16 going on 30.
Tiffany had shifty eyes.
That's what your father said about me.
Well, you did. Shifty bedroom eyes.
Okay, girls, I'm gonna call your parents.
- Well, mine aren't home. - We'll see.
How could you do this to me?
Aren't you being just a little self-centered?
You're the genius that flagged me to the salesgirl.
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
Oh, would you relax?
They've only got 10 minutes to take us to the police station,
or else we can sue.
False imprisonment.
Great. I'm in here with a pro.
Brenda, you know I stole that vest for you.
Excuse me, but that just is not true.
You were just too afraid to do it yourself.
I don't wanna hear it.
I saw the look in your eye.
Hey, I understand.
It's the only time I feel alive.
And I could buy anything.
My heart bleeds.
Don't talk to me.
Okay. I won't talk to you.
I'll talk to the owner.
But if you wanna get out of here, Brenda, just play along.
What's this?
- Oh, honey, no, that's... - Oh, you old softie.
Oh, honey, how thoughtful.
Well... Sweetie, it's a little roomy.
Actually, it's for me.
I've got tennis tomorrow at a client's.
- I'm really in trouble, aren't I? - Yeah.
God, you're working later than your father.
I'm burnt. And I gotta clock in again tomorrow.
I remember, back in the Stone Age, I used to work two jobs in high school.
Yeah, we know, Dad.
And you walked miles through the snow, kept up the old A average,
carried your team to glory.
All right, wise guy. I'm proud about your job.
Well, I'm exhausted, too.
It's not easy keeping up with Anna's pace.
It's gotta be Brenda.
"Hi, it's me. I'm at this really sweet movie,
"and there's, like, these two really cool guys,
"and they're with my ex-friend's best friend. "
I'll get it.
Yeah?
Yes, this is he.
That's impossible.
I'll be right down.
It's Brenda. They caught her shoplifting.
- Oh, no. - Oh, yes.
It's gotta be that Tiffany girl you were talking about.
You knew she was trouble, Cindy. Why'd you let Brenda go with her?
Don't put this on me! It's this place.
It's all this appearance garbage. It's contagious.
Hey, hey, hey, where's your faith, guys?
Brenda wouldn't steal.
She's the one who made you take her back to St Paul
when she forgot to pay for her Barbie doll, remember?
I'm serious.
That was before Beverly Hills.
Look, there's been a huge misunderstanding.
I mean, why would I possibly steal?
I don't know what it is with you kids.
Listen, I can show you $1,500 worth of bills
that I personally have spent in your store in the last month.
My parents build shopping centers.
Why would I steal?
I have every single gold card.
Listen, why don't I just pay like I always do, like I intended,
and you and I will just delete this whole thing?
Your choice.
Well, it's not worth wasting a day in court.
It's lucky for you the store owner didn't press charges.
Brenda, what really happened?
It was a big misunderstanding, like he said.
You don't sound so convinced to me.
I didn't do anything wrong, I swear.
Okay. Okay, honey. If you say so, we believe you.
It was so awful.
I'm so ashamed you guys had to come down here and pick me up.
Can we please just forget it?
Let's bury it.
Account closed.
Mom?
Let's just go home.
Hey, Jim! Can we drop the power and just walk?
I like this.
You know, honey, I'm gonna get you a warm-up suit, too.
Well, frankly, it's not my style.
And besides, my sweats are so beat up, they're even trendy.
Stealable.
Honey, I thought we put that to bed.
Well, what if she did steal?
Kids steal. It's a phase.
You know, getting away with something.
I was always afraid I'd get caught.
I have to confess, I once took a can opener from J.C. Penney.
I want a divorce.
People with money are the worst thieves of all.
You should see some of my clients' books.
I don't believe it.
No, it's true. How do you think they got rich?
No, no, Jim, I mean Anna.
What's she doing here on a Saturday? This has got to stop.
Be kind.
Hi.
I cook you dinner.
Kelly, why didn't you tell me she's a klepto?
We used to take a little stuff in the 8th grade,
but I could never wear anything I took.
I could never take anything, but...
No, with Tiff, it's like she had to do it.
I mean, she stole everything.
Including Steve.
Your Steve?
Yeah, but it was the way she did it.
I mean, she wasn't interested in him, just the idea of taking him, you know?
Klepto, nympho, all the O's.
Perfect. An antisocial cordless.
- Mom, the phones are down again! - Wonderful.
Feeling better this morning?
Les miserable, c'est moi.
How could Tiff use me like that?
You know, maybe I should have told on her, but I just couldn't do it.
Hey, hey, it's over now.
We new kids in town sure get a raw deal.
It doesn't just go for the kids.
These guys I work with, Vietnamese, Israelis,
they're like Grandpa was, coming here with no money.
They get completely exploited.
Well, look in our own home, with Mom hiring Anna.
Yeah, but you can bet Mom pays her fairly.
These guys at my job are working for pine nuts.
Well, can't they do anything about it?
I don't know.
But you know what? They'll be fine.
And so will you.
So, what are my options again?
Call forwarding, call waiting... You know, I'd settle for call finishing.
What do you mean, I'm lucky to get a phone number?
No, it's true, Mom.
When Kelly got her car phone, they didn't have a number for her.
With all the cellulars, they're bottoming out.
Miss Cindy? I wash?
I forgot about those.
I wonder if the store did, too.
I have to call you back.
Mom!
Mom, if you'd really think that of me, you don't know who I am.
Brenda, what am I supposed to think?
Anna found this in your closet. Tell me what to think, please.
I could tell you, but I shouldn't have to.
And I'm not going to.
Just go ahead and think the worst of me.
What you did tell me was how much you wanted things.
I mean, that's all I heard, how everybody else has everything.
Look.
It's okay.
You went overboard.
We can deal with this, but we just have to be straight with each other.
You know what? You're right.
I did want things.
It has been so hard for me here.
Everyone here has known everybody forever.
All I wanted is to blend in like I used to.
And not only won't you give me money, but then you go and you get a maid!
Look.
She needs the money more than we do, and she works for her money.
Sorry, Mom. I am not Anna. I am not Brandon. I'm not perfect!
Well, neither am I! You know it's been hard for me, too.
I don't have my friends here.
At least Anna is someone that I can talk with.
Maybe not with, but...
Why would you need three identical skirts?
I mean, you left all the price tags on, honey.
Maybe you wanted to get caught.
You know what I wanted?
I'll tell you.
I wanted to steal. I wanted to steal, Mom!
- Calm down. - No, you calm down!
I went into the store.
I saw this gorgeous vest. It was so much!
It could have been so easy, but I didn't do it. I couldn't.
You know what else?
You don't know me at all!
Brenda!
Sorry.
You're 10 minutes sorry, Brendon.
It's Brandon. Traffic was surreal.
How many times do they redo the streets around here anyway?
Don't worry, Mr Early-come-lately. We'll just dock your paycheck.
This sucks. I was 15 minutes early yesterday.
Well, don't you know? This Town is so cool, you gotta pay them to work.
Brendon, social hour is finito.
Chang!
Never put round cups with round saucers!
Well, Chang,
just gonna have to take you out back and have the style police shoot you.
Why didn't you bring the stuff over here instead of my house?
Look, what was I supposed to do?
Bring the clothes here.
No way.
Oh, it's a crazy notion, I grant you. I guess you don't have enough room.
Very funny.
You know, my parents already want to dump me in a Swiss boarding school.
It's easier for you.
Your mom's the work-it-out type.
Like you know or care so much about me.
Why do you take all those things, Tiffany? You have so much.
You think so?
You know,
once, on this student trip to Rome,
I saw this cool wall painted so it looked like a column.
Trompe I'oeil.
Fools the eye.
It just looks like there's something.
It's the same here.
There's nothing.
No one.
Your folks aren't home?
Folks.
They're launching a shopping centre in Boca Raton.
They're never here.
But it's cool, you know?
I can do whatever I want.
You sure do.
Who are they?
They're just dudes who use the premises.
Look, you wanna hang out and take a hot tub?
Forget about your mom.
You don't get it, do you?
Because I didn't tell on you, my mom thinks I'm a thief.
You can laugh if you want to, but her opinion really matters to me.
Why don't you just go back to mommy, Brenda?
Just go back to Minneapolis, all right?
Fine.
Table five wants you.
I'll bet he does. I have to think about my career.
There's an agent at table seven.
She's en route.
Brendon, crumbers do not talk to customers.
Brandon, is there any possibility
you could clear my table before the Second Coming?
Yo, boy!
- Hey. - Hey.
"This Town.
"This Town is eating experience for the morning moments,
"a medley of sage, cumin bouquets and fragrant vegetable jewels. "
Many people would love your job.
Yeah. Love that minimum wage.
You get minimum wage? Congratulations, man.
- Yeah, right. Same to you. - None of us do.
- That's illegal. - So? Who's gonna do anything?
- Listen... - I loathe apologies.
Make it up to me, Brendon. The cumins need filling.
It's Brandon. Brandon Walsh.
I'm an investigative reporter for the West Beverly newspaper.
And you can laugh if you want,
but a lot of parents read that paper and eat here.
But they won't, not any more. Not after I tell them
how you scam your help for under minimum wage!
So you can take your cumin and you can shove it.
Take a load off, Minnesota.
Dinner delectable? It's on me.
Free at last. Free at last.
Thank God Almighty.
Excuse me. Could I get a round cup and a round saucer?
And I'd like it before the Second Coming, please.
Come on, now let's get out of here.
Done deal. I know just the place. We're out of here.
The job wasn't just to support my car insurance habit.
My dad's always worked.
He sounds as bonkers as me.
I was 10 when I worked my first bit character part in an old Bogie flick.
Yeah, now there was a real pro with a sweet tooth.
Now I know why you dragged me all the way out here.
Best pie in LA. Real food for real people.
- Here's to real cups and real saucers. - Take it or leave it.
What I like is you get a real cross-section of people, you know?
Listen.
Dylan here's been bugging me about hiring someone to help me out.
I figured who would be nuts enough to want this bit?
Take you. You look nuts enough.
Take me. I'm nuts enough!
I'll vouch for that. I'll even waive my commission.
- So when do I start? - How about right now?
Hello.
Brenda's upstairs studying.
That's okay. I just came over here to get the stuff I left here.
You know, the goods, the contraband with price tags.
Remember?
I take it these are going back where they came from.
Tiffany.
I know I'm not your mother.
That's right. You're not.
But I think maybe you should talk to someone about this.
My parents don't really have time, you know.
They just kind of off me on shrinks.
I gotta go.
I just wanted to tell you that it was me, not Brenda.
Your daughter's really cool.
You ought to tell her to stay away from people like me.
Maybe you're not as bad as you wanna be.
Why don't you try stealing your parents' attention?
Yeah, that's what my shrink thinks I'm trying to do.
Maybe a more direct approach would work better.
You know, those malls, they're so overstocked,
they don't even miss the stuff.
But if everyone thought that way, there'd be nothing left.
Nowhere to shop.
Now that's scary.
Thanks, Tiff.
Hey. I got a real job.
- Brandon, we already discussed this. - The other gig was a false start.
How'd your day pan out?
Oh, very cool.
I was accused, un-accused, self-accused.
Fought with Mom, lost a friend.
But you know, I finished reading a really good book.
- "Jean Valjeen stole for... " - Valjean, Brandon.
"Jean Valjean stole for hunger.
"Others steal for different kinds of hunger.
"There's the hunger to belong.
"Many of us have had the urge,
"but Jean Valjean acted on his impulses. "
And there is a difference between the two, honey.
Your paper's beautiful.
It's homework, Mom. Homework is definitely not beautiful.
Well, I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions.
I know you well enough to trust you.
You, on the other hand...
Please, I'm reading.
"There's emotional hunger. Those people need understanding.
"They can show greatness and not let other people take the rap.
"There are all kinds of hunger. "
Mine is the biggest hunger of them all. They had the chintziest little,
you couldn't even call them sandwiches, at that tennis thing.
California lean cuisine.
- I missed you there, honey. - Well, you missed a lot.
You know, there is Anna's melting-pot mystery meat.
- Did you try it? - I was so upset, I skipped dinner.
Me, too. Stress diet. I like it.
Oh, don't even talk to me about food.
- I ate at both my jobs. - You did?
I had two jobs today. Drove through miles of concrete.
Miles of concrete. Way to go, Brandon.
Way to go, Anna.